Planning a wedding during COVID has hands down been one of the most stressful things of my life. I had everything planned early, to prevent the stress I am feeling now. And then COVID messed up every single plan, and we were back at step 1, preplanning a wedding in a short amount of time. There have been countless meltdowns, tears, frustration and confusion. I have gone from trying to please everyone to focusing on the real meaning of a wedding and back to wanting to please everyone again.
As I sit here, a week out from my wedding, I realize that I have been feeling more overwhelmed than excited. I have let the things I cannot control, steal my joy.
With this scenario and any other scenario, I always come back to the phases that we all go through. Take for instance the weather. The second the 30-day forecast came out, I began obsessing over checking the weather. Just the other day, I had a meltdown about the increasing chance for thunderstorms. I decided to search for a meditation for anxiety and uncertainty and began to feel relief when I was reminded that everything I need and everything that is supposed to happen will be given to me.
So although I am still checking the weather, I am deciding to say, how can I turn my feelings of being overwhelmed into excitement? How can I make this situation a little bit less stressful? So I bought cute umbrellas and told myself that even if it rains, I am still going to have a great day. As my fiance always says to me, control the controllable. And the things that we cannot control can cause so much stress if we choose for it to.
As I prep these final days for my wedding, I am reminded again of what is important – an amazing partner who reminded me to journal about the stress I am feeling, the peace this process of journaling and blogging is giving me, and that everything has always and will always fall into place.
And it will for you too. Cry about it. Feel that stress about it. I feel like I say this all the time, but it’s so important to remember because sometimes, I forget myself. Feel the anger and confusion. And then find an outlet to let those feelings release from you. Don’t let those feelings rob you of feeling the joy and excitement that you deserve. You have worked way too hard for such a beautiful life, to not experience joy, love and laughter. So take that time and feel your feelings, and then ask yourself, how am I going to find joy and peace and recenter myself in what is important during this situation?
I am taking next week off from blogging for our short minimoon, and taking next week off to enjoy this new chapter, is something I can control that feels really good for my mental health.
Always remember to allow yourself to feel how you feel. And always, always remember to find the peace and joy in even your smallest moments.
Cheers to continuously encouraging ourselves to dance in the rain!