Honesty time, because that is what this blog is for and because my blogs resonate with what I’m feeling in that moment. I am having a tough time posting my blogs. I have this well-constructed goal in my head to post every Monday. Sometimes I ask myself why I have that goal, but I am always reminded when someone tells me how much the blog that week helped them, and it gives me motivation to post again the next week.
I used to post on social media almost every day. I would find inspirational quotes to share left and right. And then coronavirus happened. And I lost a lot of my motivation and energy. And then everything began happening with racial tensions, police brutality, and memories of pain. And I felt like I lost even more motivation and energy.
I remember I felt this way last year. From about February to May, my stress levels were at an all-time high. I was working full time, building my business, deciding if I really wanted to leave my full-time job, hosting a huge city-wide event, and still trying to blog every Monday. I remember telling my therapist how drained I felt. And right now, I am feeling very much the same. Exhausted from everything I see on social media, exhausted from rushing to replan a wedding after all my planning became unraveled (thanks COVID). I know I am not alone in this. And that gives me comfort. But what gives me even more comfort is knowing that this too shall pass. Once my event was over in May, I felt rejuvenated, excited about the future. And I know that once things calm down a bit in my life, I will have much more to say and feel much more connected to my weekly blogs.
Right now is just a rough patch, but it won’t be rough forever. I love this rain analogy that I heard once, that without the rain, we would never see the beautiful flowers outside. We need rain and tough times in order for us to grow and bloom. This is just a storm, that many of us are collectively going through. But the storm will pass, the clouds will clear, and the sun will reappear. And we will feel renewed and refreshed, and we will know our support system is there for us, and we will lean on them for support when the storms inevitably come again.
Although life is full of ups and downs, good times and bad, it is within each of those moments that we learn more about ourselves, that we become more forgiving and patient with ourselves, and that we recognize that each moment, no matter how bad or how great, is a moment of our story. A beautiful story that is unique to you. A story that shows your inner and outer shine. A story of growth and hope.
That is what keeps me going.