This week, we went axe throwing as a staff. It was so much fun, and it also taught me something about myself.
I’m a hesitater.
I never realized how nervous I get when I’m trying something new, especially if I’ve already convinced myself I won’t be good at it.
When our coach was teaching us how to throw the axes, she kept giving me the same notes: don’t hesitate and don’t doubt yourself. I realized I do that a lot when I’m trying something new and uncomfortable. I’ll get so excited about it, and then start doubting if it’s something I can do.
As confident and fearless as I present myself, I still like to stay in my comfort zone. Trying new things makes me so nervous, and sometimes I can’t move past it to the point that I’d rather sit on the sidelines and watch others who are better than myself at whatever it is.
That self-doubt comes from a place of insecurity and fear of failure. As someone who—for a very long time—has been so concerned with coming across as perfect and put together, I have a hard time letting myself try hard at something if I don’t know I can succeed.
Letting myself live with that doubt, though, has held me back from so many fun experiences. As I continue growing and learning about myself, I’m recognizing the things that I can work to improve.
I want to be more adventurous, and I want to have fun even when I’m outside my comfort zone. Now that I recognize that doubt and where it comes from, I can start working on how to let it go.
If you find yourself hesitating to try something new or do something fun, ask yourself why. As we learn more about ourselves, we can work to continue growing our self-love and self-acceptance.
As always, stay safe + stay healthy!