This week, I am tired. Emotionally. Physically. Tired.
My therapist told me I should journal after visits with my mom, to reflect on what I’m feeling. At this point, we are all tired. It is tiring to watch the strongest woman I know be so physically weak. It is tiring to talk and think about what’s happening to her 24/7. It’s tiring for my dad to take care of her and my mom to live this way.
Some days you just allow yourself to be tired and sad and lacking hope. That’s okay. My mom the other day said she was feeling sad and she deserved to take the time to feel sad. And she is right. We all deserve to take the time we need to feel. And that’s what I am doing as well, feeling. I am feeling all the highs and the lows. I am taking more breaks than normal and making huge changes in my life that I typically wouldn’t feel comfortable doing. I am putting myself first. Because when we are tired, overworking ourselves will not do any good.
Listen to your body. Listen to your mind. Give yourself what you need. Feel how you feel. When you want to write and talk about it, do it. When the words come easily, let them flow. And when you’re too tired to write or explain or share, that’s okay too.
Cheers to giving ourselves more of what we need, putting ourselves first, and letting ourselves feel tired and sad when we are tired and sad.
This too shall pass. I promise you. Until then, I will be tired and I’m learning how to manage grief and live my life at the same time.