Remember to stay present with this version of you.
This is a reminder I am telling myself right now. Recently, I’ve been somewhat freaking out about becoming a mom. I’ve been so excited for so long but with my due date approaching in just over a month, I’m starting to feel all the fears and feelings. I’m starting to wonder how I am going to do with lack of sleep or without the independence I have right now. I brought this up to my therapist and she said that those fears are probably even enhanced because I’ll be feeling all those feelings without the physical support of my mom.
I had been freaking out for so long, yet trying to rush time so we can finally meet our daughter, that I forgot to just live in the present. There’s a quote by Rupi Kaur that really is resonating with me right now. “I’ll never have this version of me again. Let me slow down and be with her”. And that’s exactly what I am deciding to do. To slow down and to be with this current version of me, because I’ll never have her back. Sure, I’ll have pieces of myself as I welcome my daughter into the world, but the reality as I know it now will never quite be the same. And I am excited and terrified about it all. But I’m also feeling grateful for the quiet moments I have right now and the ability to go to the store without thinking about diapers or strollers. I am enjoying these last few moments as they are right now.
We can so often live in the past or the future. We can so often become overwhelmed by our fears and our regrets. All of this keeps us from enjoying the now, enjoying the moments of the now, the relationships of the now, and the people we are in this very moment. It’s so important for us to grow and change and adapt, but along the journey of reaching what scares you, don’t forget to pause and be with this version of yourself. Don’t forget to soak in these moments of quiet. And most importantly don’t forget to remember that although change is inevitable and you might never be quite the same, it doesn’t mean that you are any less worthy or that your feelings are any less valid.
Love who you are right now. Slow down and be with that person. Slow down and be in this moment. And know that this version of you doesn’t have to go away completely, but this version of you will only help you to continue to grow into the person you were destined to be.
So today, I am choosing to feel the excitement and the fear and to be present with this version of me. And I can only hope to teach my daughter the same.
Cheers to being in the moment and knowing that who we are in this very moment is more than good enough and worthy of slowing down for.