My name is Cofi. It’s pronounced just like the beverage, and we share a few things in common: I am bold, I am strong, and I am Black. Like coffee, I wake people up—not with caffeine, but with truth.
I am a 44-year-old woman who resides in Cincinnati, Ohio, and I own and operate a lifestyle brand intentionally named By Cofi. My brand’s mission, and my mission, is to bring glory to God, edify people, and transform lives through the four pillars of wellness: physical, spiritual, emotional, and social.
This isn’t a cute, feel-good piece about self-care. I’m here to offer you a moment of transformation—an opportunity to reflect on your life and reclaim what’s been lost. Self-care isn’t just an act you see commercialized by influencers on TikTok and Instagram, or a luxury for the privileged. It’s a lifeline. Life can be a battlefield, no matter your age, race, or financial status.
I speak not from theory but from lived experiences—experiences that have made me scream, cry, and hold on to my faith like gripping guardrails when the most heinous activity has been done to you. You better believe I bucked up. Self-care had everything to do with it.
And Here We Are
January 2025. The start of a new year. 1N5 has chosen to focus on self-care—a choice more relevant than ever, though they may not have known what we’d be walking through right now.
Did they foresee wildfires terrorizing homes and people in Los Angeles, leaving families displaced, hearts mortified, and communities devastated? Did they imagine Cincinnatians bracing against bitter cold and heavy snowstorms—scrambling to grocery stores, going to sleep wondering if they will be paid for the days their jobs are closed, and worrying if their children will get to and return from school safely?
As some people try their best to escape the flames on one side of the country, others are huddled inside, questioning: Why is this happening? What is truly going on with the weather? Global warming, perhaps. The truth is, we have to do our best to find solace. Self-care is not optional—it’s essential. It’s about taking care of our physical, spiritual, emotional, and social wellness, creating an environment where dark thoughts will be alleviated, and allowing the essence of our strength to beautifully come forward.
A Brief History of Self-Care
The concept of self-care didn’t begin with social media trends. In the 1960s and 70s, it was a practical tool in healthcare, empowering patients to take an active role in their healing. By the 80s and 90s, self-care became a focus in mental health as therapists and caregivers battled burnout.
In the 2010s, self-care took off as a cultural movement. Influencers, wellness brands, and social media transformed it into something aesthetic—candles, face masks, and spa days. But a quick food for thought is this: What is self-care for men? Where are the men in these conversations? What are their practices? And how does this lack of focus connect to the troubling rates of suicide among men? It’s a reminder that self-care is not just for one group— it’s for all of us, no matter who we are.
Then came 2020, and the world shut down. COVID-19 forced us to confront isolation, stress, and loss on an unprecedented scale. Self-care shifted again—not as a luxury, but as a survival strategy. For many communities, self-care looked like watching a favorite movie, journaling, and finding ways to connect with family despite the fear of leaving home. It wasn’t about spa days or fitness trends—it was about resilience, resourcefulness, hope, and leaning into the small things that bring joy and peace.
Today, self-care demands transformation. It’s time to reclaim it as something meaningful, purposeful, and powerful.
What Is Self-Care?
Let’s break it down.
Self. It’s your essence—your identity, purpose, and passions. Who are you at your core? Care. It’s the intentional act of nurturing and protecting yourself, rooted in love and respect.
If you don’t know who you are, how can you care for yourself properly? True self-care requires a deep dive into who you are—not just mimicking what others are doing. Proper self care is an alignment with your purpose and passions. It’s not just about what you do—it’s about why you do it.
Aligning Self-Care with Your Passions
When you align self-care with your passions, it becomes transformational. People often ask, What am I called to do? My answer is simple: Have you asked God? Have you truly sought His direction for your life?
For me, I am passionate about the things of God. Worship is a huge part of my self-care. It’s not just an act; it’s a connection to my Creator, a way to eradicate heaviness and focus on my praise. I’m also passionate about sustainability, food, flowers, gardening, art, reading, and people.
Self-care looks like me growing food and sharing it with others to spread wellness. It looks like me cooking in the kitchen—not by a recipe, but moving to my own rhythm. It looks like me reading something inspiring or having deep, meaningful conversations with people who challenge and sharpen me. These things align with who I am, and they fuel me in ways nothing else can.
Protecting Your Peace
Even as you align your self-care with your passions, there is one essential truth: you must protect your peace. Self-care is incomplete without boundaries. Protecting your peace means guarding your heart against negativity and refusing to let trauma or slander redefine you.
For example, when someone slanders my name, my self-care is turning to God’s Word. I remind myself who I am in Him, rejecting the arrows of negativity that try to penetrate my soul. Protecting your peace means deciding, No, I will not let this take root in me.
As a parent, it might mean setting boundaries with your children. As a teenager, it could be walking away from toxic friendships. As a mental health professional, it’s carving out moments to recharge. Protecting your peace allows you to show up as your true self—whole, grounded, and unshaken.
A Call to Action
I have so much more to share, and I’d love to continue this conversation with you. Take care of yourself. Find your purpose. Protect your peace. Know who you are. Lean on your faith— and recover.
Do not allow this world to cripple you. Find a trusted person and share your heart. Trouble don’t last always. You are a gift, created with intention and purpose. Let self-care be your pathway to becoming your best happy self.
You can find me on Instagram at @bycofi_lifestylebrand or email me at executiveassistant@bycofi.com. Together, let’s transform lives—starting with our own.