It takes a lot of courage to do something that others wouldn’t or that others would judge you for. Do it anyway.
About a month ago, I ended my 2.5-year breastfeeding journey. When I started nursing, I knew I wanted to make it to at least a year, and two years if it felt right and was going well. For the first 6 months, everyone applauds you that you’re doing something so amazing for your child by giving them breastmilk. But after that, the negative comments start trickling in. Once I made it to a year, I kept hearing people ask when I was going to stop and I had no intentions of stopping anytime soon, so I would shrug them off and say I was following Charlotte’s lead. I continued to hear negative comments and I could feel the judgment when I told people I was now nursing my toddler who could verbalize that she wanted milk. I won’t lie and say it was easy to shrug off those comments so often. But I decided I was going to keep going and do what felt right not only for me but for Charlotte.
Breastfeeding a toddler can be a lonely experience. Not many other moms I knew were still nursing and it sometimes felt like I was on an island, just me and Charlotte. But there’s not one moment of the 2.5 years of our breastfeeding relationship that I would change. I reflect back on the mental turmoil of breastfeeding from day one. How difficult and painful it was and the amount of times I almost gave up. The amount of times I felt so helpless. But once we found our groove, our breastfeeding relationship became one of my favorite parts of the past 2.5 years of her life.
From the exhaustion, pain, tears and loneliness, to the beautiful moments of watching her fall asleep while nursing, the nursing smiles that melted me, being her main source of food for her first 6 months of life, the endless gymnast poses she learned while nursing, the comfort I was able to give for every hurt and every fear, and the beautiful bond we created – every moment means everything to me.
I think my breastfeeding journey and going “against the grain”, despite recommendations to breastfeed until 2, is a great demonstration of doing what feels right for you, even if it isn’t right for others. It’s a great demonstration of taking a road that isn’t often journeyed and despite the fear and the pain, taking it anyway, because you know the fulfilling feeling on the other side is worth it. My breastfeeding journey is a great demonstration of the fact that we are stronger and more resilient than we give ourselves credit for.
So the next time you think you can’t keep going, or the next time you second guess your intuition because it isn’t what someone else would do, or the next time you take a different path than the one that feels right because someone is judging you, I hope you can remember that even though trusting what feels right can be scary, it’s the most fulfilling thing you can do for yourself. If I had listened to the judgment and the naysayers, I would have ended a journey earlier than I wanted to and dealt with more grief than I did. But instead, I trusted my gut and trusted my daughter and did what was right for the both of us and so when I was ready to wean, I held onto the memories fondly with appreciation and admiration for myself, rather than sadness and regret.
So choose the path that is right for you. Even if others don’t understand. Even if it’s the path less chosen. Even if it leads to some judgment. Only you know what your intuition is telling you. You are stronger, more resilient, and more courageous than you think. Do it anyway. I’m so glad I did. And I will continue to do so in other areas of my life, too.
Xo,
Be Beautifully Simply You