It was his first flight.
And it was the scariest one of my life.
Meeting Ayden was not by chance.
His late aunt’s name was Ivy, and he felt like he had a guardian angel watching over him for his first flight.
We were on a small 8-passenger flight from Massena, NY to Boston, NY. There were 4 of us on it.
I had just wrapped up a speaking engagement at Saint Lawrence University.
The plane ride to Massena was already pretty awful. I had never felt every single bump of turbulence so deeply. So, I wasn’t excited about the ride home.
But I had to put on a brave face for Ayden, who quickly became a friend. We bonded over us both being athletes. He was on his way to a recruiting trip to join a college football team.
As the plane took off, the turbulence was worse than I have ever experienced in my life. I looked over at Ayden and told him that we could both close our eyes and imagine we were on a beach, relaxing.
I thought the turbulence would calm down as we got higher into the sky.
But it got progressively worse. The winds were awful.
Even with a seat belt on, I was getting thrown out of my seat, rocked back and forth.
The plane was beeping constantly and that made the situation even scarier.
The plane seemed just as scared as we were.
As I held back tears and tried my best to breathe through every panic attack I was having, all I could think about was how this could be the end for us.
I kept telling myself to keep it together, stay calm so Ayden wouldn’t freak out. I mean, it was his first time flying—poor kid!!
In many ways, him being there helped to keep me strong and focused.
But on the inside, I was falling apart. Thinking how I might not ever see my daughter again.
It was the scariest moment of my life and I had no control over the situation.
Unfortunately, we made it all the way to Boston and then had to turn around and go back to New York because the turbulence was just too strong and other planes much bigger than ours were having trouble landing.
I sat on this plane for 3 hours in misery.
When we finally landed safely (thank God), I had never been so thankful to have my feet on solid ground.
Moments like these—where you truly feel the fragility of life, where you have no control over the outcome and all you feel is fear—make you appreciate the life you do have that much more.
I think about my why more often now. And my why is my daughter.
Having this experience, where I felt like I wasn’t sure if I would make it out alive, helped to remind me that I am blessed beyond measure to have the life I have, even when things are difficult.
Getting home way later that night after finally getting a rental car and driving 8 hours home (which is a crazy story for another day) and finally seeing Charlotte and being able to hold her in my arms was one of the best feelings. I was experiencing the very moment I was afraid I wouldn’t have again.
I was wrapped around my why, and I made a promise to myself to come back to my why and my motivation, even on the hard days.
But we shouldn’t have to wait for an almost near-death experience to remember our why.
To remember why we started doing the work we used to love.
To remember to love on our family members.
But unfortunately, that’s what it often takes for us to be reminded.
That moment for me reminded me to slow down and just live in the moments I have.
Because no future moment is guaranteed. And we all know that.
But knowing it and living like we know it are two very different things.
So I’m choosing to live like I know it.
To breathe deeper.
To hug longer.
To pause more.
To remember what really matters—not just when the plane is shaking, but in the quiet moments too.
Find your why.
Hold it tight.
And let it guide how you live—not just in fear, but in purpose.
Because life is fragile.
But love—the kind that roots you, grounds you, and brings you home—is what makes it all worth it.
Let that be what carries you.
Ivy Watts, MPH, Mental Health Empowerment Speaker
Author of You Are Worth Fighting For
Ivy Watts Speaks