By Kimberly Koland
As the clock strikes midnight on December 31st, a whole new year begins. Perhaps you, like me, often find yourself making grand resolutions, promising to improve your self-care life in significant ways. THIS IS YOUR YEAR FOR SELF-CARE! But, what happens after the initial excitement fades, and the real work begins? It is not like you wake up at 7 AM on January 1st and you have had a complete life makeover. I wish it was that easy, but it is not. Like most life changes, it has to have a few sticky components for something to stick. To do so, let’s consider several key components.
Make it stick by setting realistic goals. If your goals are too ambitious or unattainable, you’re more likely to become discouraged and give up. Remember, you don’t have to do it all at the same time. A year has 12 months, so be intentional and take your time. Gradual changes stick.
Make it stick by being consistent. Maybe your current routine is great for the new self-care habit you want to develop over this year, but also, maybe it is not. If not, that is the place to start. Develop a new routine and write it down in several places you can see. The goal is to repeat the behavior over and over until it becomes second nature.
Make it stick by having someone hold you accountable. You don’t need to publish it on social media, but you should tell someone because that can significantly increase your chances of success. Keeping a daily log or journal is an excellent way to make your self-care resolutions tangible and visible.
Make it stick by being flexible. You and I both know that life is unpredictable and sometimes we need to adjust our sails. As John Steinbeck wrote in his book Of Mice and Men, “The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry.” It is irritating sometimes when they do, but having the mindset of flexible thinking helps so much.
Make it stick by being patient with yourself. Change doesn’t happen overnight. Progress takes time. So don’t be too hard on yourself if things don’t go perfectly. Life is messy, not perfect and neither are we. and at the same time, motivate yourself! Why do you want to do this? What do you gain? Keep that reason in front of you. Put positive influences in your circle that can motivate you and support you and it is okay to say NO to many things or situations so that you can say a strong YES to what is best. Self-compassion is a powerful tool in maintaining your self-care journey. Be gentle with yourself, especially when things don’t go as planned. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer your best friend.
So, whether it is a self-care journey of physical change, mental or emotional health, relationships you have or want in your life, adding new interests into your life, or removing things that no longer bring you joy, do it.
Kimberly is a mother of adult children, an educator, and a suicide widow. She spends her time as creatively as possible through writing and pointing people to hope. From Costa Rica, she lives in the Twin Cities, Minnesota and you can often find her with a good book in her hand, learning to garden, and being courageously creative. You can find her on Instagram @hopefully_kimberly