Erin is taking over our Instagram this week to talk eating disorder recovery and how your disorder does not define you.
Daughter. Sister. Friend. Athlete. Funny. Relentless.
Intelligent. Unique. Outgoing.
Fearless.
These are just a few words that define me.
A few words that no longer do? Scared. Disordered. Sick. Worthless.
From end of high school to sophomore year in college I was defined by my Eating Disorder. The thoughts I had dictated my every thought, my every move. From what I did, to how much I ate and worked out, to what I wore, to how I could relate to people, and so much mote. I was scared to live, had disordered thoughts around food and working out, sick enough to land me in the hospital with a 35 beat per minute heart rate all while never feeling worthwhile even though I gave into to every thought that was supposed to make me worthy.
I finally got help and I wanted more out of life. I wanted to let go and release the negativity I felt towards myself. I wanted to be strong and healthy. I no longer wanted to give in to the voices in my head…. 7 years later I can say I am recovered and happy to be defined by those first words. I know that my past is my past and it will always be apart of who I am. I wasn’t crazy or weird, I simply needed a space to heal and learn how to cope with my own thoughts. I am still fighting everyday to do this and proud of my journey.
If I can say anything and any words to you, it is that you are not your disorder. There is so much more to you. Fight to present that part of you to the world and hold your disorder as something that only defined you to make you better and stronger.