If I have learned anything in the past year after graduating college, it is that your mid-20s can be such an exciting, yet challenging, season of life. I am currently 22 years old and definitely in a period of transition. I learn more and more about myself every day as I finish graduate school, build my career, and strengthen the relationships in my life. With all of those transitions comes something I like to call “wearing multiple hats”, which takes a lot of balance. For me, balance does not mean doing everything perfectly; it means learning how to show up for the different roles in your life while also prioritizing self-care.
Right now, the roles I play include graduate student, school program intern at 1N5, babysitter, daughter, aunt, friend, and partner. Each of these roles are so incredibly meaningful to me and have formed me into the person I am today. As each of these roles are important to me in different and unique ways, each one also comes with its own responsibilities, expectations, and challenges. Some days can feel like I am switching hats every hour. I might spend my morning moving my body and getting some exercise in, or helping out my brother and sister-in-law with my niece and nephew. I might spend my afternoon at 1N5 researching social-emotional learning programs, or nannying for family friends. I might spend my evening reading a course textbook about counseling theories, or sitting in a lecture about how to deal with a counseling crisis. I might come home to a family cookout where I help out with my niece and nephew, or spend time with my partner or my friends. Finally, to end my day, I am usually cramming in some more studying and reading, or enjoying my favorite television show. Most days, it can feel like there are never enough hours in the day to accomplish everything I would like to.
For a long time, I believed balance meant giving equal and consistent time and energy to every single area of my life. In this past year, I realized that this mindset was not realistic. Some weeks, graduate school demands more from me. Other weeks, my projects at 1N5 require extra effort and attention. Sometimes my family needs me and I need to show up for my brother, sister, and parents. Other times, I need the reminder to slow down and prioritize my own well-being, whether that means taking care of my body with movement, taking care of my mind with sleep, or taking care of my mental health with breaks.
One of the biggest lessons I have learned about balance along the way has been that it is important to remain flexible. Even just weeks ago I would’ve described myself as a very task-oriented and structured person, someone who needs a plan and dislikes going with the flow, or someone who is extremely rigid when it comes to her calendar and to-do lists. Although my priorities change from day to day and season to season, instead of striving for perfection and becoming unadaptable, I have shifted my mindset to being intentional with the time I have each day. It is important to find daily habits and procedures that help you to remain grounded and present. Sometimes I will ask myself questions like “What needs my attention the most today?”, “What can wait until tomorrow?”, and “What have I done to take care of myself today?”. Whether these are questions you think about independently in your head, chat about with a trusted friend, write down in a journal, or however you feel out your emotions and plan ahead, this will allow you to prioritize what is truly important in your day, rather than trying to be everywhere all at once every single day.
Another thing I have learned to recognize is that it is okay to say “no”. As someone who enjoys helping others and being overly involved, it can be difficult and overwhelming when you do not have personal boundaries set that allow you to understand when saying “yes” to something crosses the line from being healthy and helpful to unhealthy and harmful. Protecting my very limited time in this busy phase of life is one of my new favorite forms of self-care. This does not make you selfish, this allows you to fully show up for the commitments you choose to make quality time for.
Something else I learned over this past year is the importance of leaning on my friends and family for help. As I graduated college and moved back into my childhood home with my family while I finish up graduate school, I was reminded how important it is to actually use the support system I have built over time. It is so common for us to think we are burdening others when we ask for help, when in reality we would do the same for the people we love. Your support system might include your friends, family members, a partner, coworkers, classmates, professors, mentors, and more. Remember to lean on support and share these life moments with others as you celebrate your accomplishments and find encouragement during difficult times.
Finally, for me, balance would not be possible without taking care of my body. Whether this is going to a yoga class, meditating, taking a walk with a friend, spending technology-free quality time with loved ones, getting enough sleep, or going on a run, self-care is not just something to fit into your calendar after everything else is done for the week. Self-care requires us to be intentional; it is something that assists me and encourages me to complete my daily tasks and priorities with a fresh and energized mind as I put on my different hats throughout the day.
If you are also in a season of life where you feel like you are always wearing multiple hats, you are not alone. Life is full of transitions, and with each new role comes opportunities for growth. Give yourself permission to say “no”, allow time to move your body and take care of your mind, be flexible and adjust your expectations, set personal boundaries, and ask for help if you need it. Remind yourself that perfection is not realistic and balance does not mean having it all figured out. I am 22 years old and still learning as I go. Some days feel extremely productive and organized, while others feel stressful and chaotic. My hope is that when you experience a difficult transitional season of life, you remember that you don’t have to wear every single hat just right. You simply have to wear your hats in a way that allows you to continue growing while taking care of yourself along the way.