Learn Yourself to Love Yourself

Learn Yourself to Love Yourself…Sounds good doesn’t it. What does it mean? How does one go about learning themselves? Even from an early age we spend plenty of time learning. We learn things to survive, we learn the people around us, and we learn all about the world we live in. How much time do we actually spend learning ourselves? Learning things like who we are, what we enjoy, what matters most to us, what makes up the unique pattern and characteristics within and how do WE engage the world? 

There have been 3 major things in my life that have helped me learn myself. Relationships, Therapy, and Personality Tests. Yes, I said Personality Tests.

  1. RELATIONSHIPS: The best way to learn about yourself can sometimes be from an outsider’s perspective. Ask someone you trust what they see in you. This can be the good and the bad. It’s crucial to have a few people in your life that will lovingly steer you when needed and encourage you when you can’t see the good within. It’s from relationships I’ve learned my encouragement style, my pitfalls as a friend, some of my talents, and oftentimes these relationships have given me the grace and power needed to take care of myself. 
  2. THERAPY: I’ve had personal therapy and I’ve had marriage counseling and all I have to say is GIVE ME ALL THE THERAPY. Do I love it, absolutely not.  If you’ve ever spent time unpacking all the things you’ve been through then you know, therapy is hard. Therapy is WORK, but you also know, Therapy is worth it. From therapy I’ve learned how things from my family, my past, and my present shape me. I’ve learned how to take space when I need it, how to breathe, not overreact, notice my triggers, and set boundaries. These boundaries are a key component to my own self-care.
  3. PERSONALITY TESTS: I used to be a skeptic. The first time someone came up to me and said, “I think you’re a 9.” I said I don’t know what you’re talking about and I don’t really care. That was until I read it for myself.  I decided to join a book club and we began to read The Sacred Enneagram. I took the test, got my “number” and started to see myself explained on paper. I’m not sure how it works but I do know it’s one of the first times I began to understand myself and be ok with it. I understood that it’s ok to be an introvert. It’s ok to agree with both sides of the story. I saw some very very good qualities that I have relating to people and some deep struggles I have within myself.

Before diving in to learn myself I would say margaritas and tacos were all I needed. I still 100% believe a little taco and margarita every now and then are good for me, but I’ve discovered I actually need a lot more for better self-care. Understanding my need for alone time, understanding my capacity for activity, thriving in the things I’m good at while seeking help for my struggles. These are all things I’ve had to learn and will continue to learn over time. I wrote this blog to encourage the reader to START LEARNING! Start with one thing. Start with something fun. Whether that’s the enneagram test or the Meijers Briggs there is something for everyone. I truly trust the more you learn about yourself the better you’ll be at loving yourself. So get out there and start learning!