The question of what self-care is is one I found myself trying to understand for weeks during a dark time in my life. I knew it was time for me to be cared for, and that care started with the love God showered me with. Then, he asked me to do the same for myself instead of looking outward for that love and care because He wanted me to love and care for others the same way I loved and cared for myself. So, you can imagine how I loved and cared for others up to this point.
Self-care has become an important part of my life. As a man, I didn’t think self-care existed because I looked at self-care as something that women did when they went to the salon, got their nails done, or took bubble baths and similar things. I began to be intentional about adding daily care for myself every day, realizing that Christians care for themselves not just for their good, but so that they can care for others. I start my day every day before the day begins, and I get into full daddy mode by fueling myself with the bread of life or God’s word. It may be as simple as the verse of the day and a devotion. The verse of the day turns into the chapter of the day some days for context. Then I spend time praying and meditating. Prayer allows me the time to talk to God about things I’m carrying, and people I want to pray for, as well as to thank Him for all He’s done and is doing in our lives. Meditation allows me the time to focus on God‘s word and create the space to focus on my God-given breath as I make room for God to speak back to me. All of this allows me to release anything that may have come up in my dreams or from the day before, which is a great way for anyone to start their day. Release the worries, anxiety, or any nerves, and focus on the peace and joy that we have in Christ.
Another great way I have practiced self-care is by being selective about what I let my mind take in. I enjoy social media like everyone, but if I can’t handpick what comes across my screen, then I won’t use it. What I see has the power to encourage and uplift me or lead me down a road of comparison, confusion, and fear. Social media is a great tool, but too much of anything can consume you. This also goes for the community I surround myself with. My community encourages me, challenges me, and pushes me to be who I’m supposed to be and not who I’m comfortable staying.
Another great self-care tool of mine is taking at least one day a month off with a scheduled activity that sets my heart on fire. This activity is not based on compromising the full house but solely something I do for myself. It may be a hike that includes a picnic and some quiet time, or it may be going to the gun range to see if my aim is still good. Maybe I’ll rent something to spend some time on a local lake, but whatever it is, it is a gift to myself and the permission to say yes. There may be a lot going on, but I’m going to pause and recharge.
Now, this last self-care tool of mine is underrated, but it’s so important, and that’s taking a Sabbath once a week. Now, writing this out is as close as I come to doing it some weeks because giving yourself the space to not worry about anything and rest means that you trust that things will be okay when logic tells you kids may not eat or the family may go without and the fear that comes with that. I get why many will laugh and say, “Yeah right.” What this looks like for me, though, is turning off all the things that pull at my attention (minus the kids), and I take a rest from all of the to-do’s that can wait till the next day to rest my mind, rest my body, and more importantly, I show God that I can trust Him with all that tells me differently.
Caring for myself and my soul and the pursuit of my spiritual well-being have become an important part of my life routine. It keeps me from feeling burnt out just doing what I think my job is and living according to my purpose that’s bigger than my own story. Ultimately, the conversation of self-care which leads to the grace and care we offer others is hard to have when you haven’t sought God and experienced His love, care, and grace for you that sets a bar to want to obtain.
Hope you enjoy this and it blesses you.