by Ivy from Beautifully Simply You
Self-love is patient. Self-love is kind. Self-love takes time. Self-love is difficult but self-love is undeniably beautiful.
What does self-love mean to you? Really think about that question. Too often we don’t think about loving ourselves, we think about the love we give to others and we forget there should be a whole lot of space for love in our hearts for ourselves, too. We don’t think about self-love often because society doesn’t want us to think about it. Society encourages us to point out bad things about ourselves, to talk negatively about ourselves, because society wants us to spend money to change ourselves. Every where you look, there are advertisements telling you to change who you are and what you look like. It’s no wonder we feel less than and not worthy when we are constantly compared to these advertisements that promote unrealistic ideas of who we should be.
But in a world where society tells you to be anyone but you, I challenge you to be a rebel, and to fight society and simply be you. You were put on this earth as you are for a reason. Why try to change who you are when the very thing that makes you beautiful is the fact that you are you? When you can start showing society that it will no longer win, that it will no longer have power over you, then you can begin to accept yourself. But self-love takes a lot of work, patience and perseverance, because you are fighting against the pressures of society legitimately every minute of every day. But I think that is what makes the self-love journey that much more beautiful and meaningful, because despite the odds, you carried on, you pushed forward and you did what society told you not to – you focused on you and you worked on learning to love yourself as you are.
In my book, that is an accomplishment to be celebrated!
For my entire life, I didn’t accept who I was, I always wanted to be someone else, anybody else than the horrible person I thought I was, so self-love for me is radical acceptance of who I am, despite my flaws and imperfections. Self-love for me is being able to look in the mirror, tell myself positive statements about myself and believe those staments. Self-love for me is recognizing my growth and celebrating me for me.
When you learn to love yourself, it means doing your best to wake up every morning and be patient with yourself. I can never promise you that you will wake up every morning and love yourself or be proud of yourself, I know I don’t. We have been conditioned to be negative and we are comfortable in our negativity. But when we can be patient with ourselves, we can accept that we will have bad days, and we can be compassionate to ourselves when we mess up or fall short.
Self-love also means being kind to yourself and treating yourself like you would a best friend. You would likely never tell your best friend that they were ugly or fat or worthless, so why tell yourself those things? If you had a friend you were around all the time and they told you that you were worthless, would you want to keep that friend around all the time? Probably not. At the end of the day, you have to spend more time with yourself than anyone in this world, so choose to be kind to yourself. Choose to be kind to the negative voices in your head and choose to be kind to who you are.
No matter where you are on this journey, choose patience and kindness every time. Know that you are worthy of giving yourself patience, kindness, compassion, acceptance and so much love. And no matter how difficult the journey may get, know that self-love is the greatest gift because not only have you embarked on the most beautiful journey, you have fought against society, and you have won.
Xo,
Be Beautifully Simply You