You can want a break from your kids and still miss them when they’re gone.

Co parenting is hard. Harder than I thought it would be. When my ex and I first split, my biggest issue was having to spend time away from Charlotte. The idea of it drowned me and made me feel helpless. Over time, I became okay with it. I learned to embrace the break time and even find ways to go out and enjoy myself. But then there are days when the second the door closes and they walk away, my heart shatters into a million pieces. It’s like my heart just left the house for the day.
The past couple of months, I was so busy with moving and plans with friends that I was completely fine with not having Charlotte for a few days. But now that there are some weekend days spent in quiet, but of course never fully quiet because they are filled with all the chores I find hard to do while she’s here, but quiet enough, without her. These are the weekends that it hits me the hardest. When I’m filled with tears and sadness. But I also know that I am craving a break, to get through the laundry list of things I need to do.
This tug and pull on my heart is painful. But I still wouldn’t change what I decided to do. Because overall, I’m happier and more at peace now that it is just me and Charlotte. And I know I’m creating a happier life for her than I would have created if I stayed in my marriage. But it’s okay for this to still hurt. It is okay to feel happy about this new chapter but also sad about the changes it brings.
If you’re struggling today missing someone, just know you aren’t alone. I’m trying my best to put structure around my days when she isn’t here, so it isn’t so sad when she first leaves. I know over time, it will get a bit easier. But there’s nothing quite like the moment I hear the doorbell ring and see her smiling face on the other side reaching out for me, ready to tell me about her day with her dad. Until then, I’m allowing myself to feel all the emotions.
I know we can both get through this storm. We have done it before through a different storm, we can do it again.
Let’s keep going, together. I’m here with you in this tug and pull of life.
Be Beautifully Simply You