A little joy can go a long way.
Joy. Something I truly haven’t felt in months. If I’m being honest, I lost joy back in January. It’s as if my body and mind knew that tough times were on the horizon for me and my family. March came and so did the horrifying news that my mom’s cancer had spread. May came and she passed, and it’s just been a downhill spiral with every month. I truly lost what it felt like to feel joy or happiness.
When we found out I was pregnant, a little bit of joy was reintroduced into my life, but I was still so overcome with grief that it was hard to be fully joyful about the life I’m creating. This past week, we had our anatomy scan, which allows you to get a really good look at the baby. Our ultrasound technician was able to get an incredible 3D image of our baby and she is just the cutest baby. Her mannerisms during our time together of sucking her thumb, crossing her little legs and yawning, really made me feel joy for the first time. And to top it all off, I’ve been feeling her move almost every day and every time I do, I feel a sense of happiness.
All of this to say that, I mean it when I say keep going. Life is hard, it can be really, really hard, but there are moments of joy that can help carry you through. I know that the moments of joy this week don’t mean that I will not feel the immense sadness that I have been feeling, I know those feelings will come back, but I am also reassured that those feelings will come and go and there will be moments of joy and laughter that I will hold onto with all I have.
Times are tough right now, but they don’t have to be tough forever. I know my mom is smiling down on me right now, knowing that I have found some joy despite the pain. And you can too.
Find those moments of joy, and even if they only make you feel good for a moment or two, embrace those moments and be proud of yourself. Those small moments of joy add up and make a difference. I’ve been inspired this week to know deep in my soul that I am going to be okay.
Thank goodness for my moment of joy. But also thank goodness for my sadness that has allowed me to embrace this moment even deeper.
I hope the same for you.
Xo,