My first signs of depression began when I was 12 years old. I was bullied for years and became progressively more and more depressed. I felt worthless and craved attention. I put myself in vulnerable and dangerous positions and began distancing myself from those who actually loved me. I could not find a way to escape the pain I was feeling, so I attempted suicide and cut myself many times.
When I was 16, I was raped by one of my “friends” and fellow classmates. I felt completely empty and stopped eating, but no one noticed. I was a bigger girl, so no one thought that I could have an eating disorder. One of the first people I told about my sexual assault and everything I was dealing with was my best friend. He was the one person that I could go to for support, but he passed away suddenly on June 13, 2017. I found myself in an abusive relationship during this time as well, and I let myself go because of the pain that I was feeling. The abuse that I was subjected to was overwhelming and caused a great deal of anxiety that I have to deal with in my daily life.