Life is truly a rollercoaster. It’s full of excitement, highs, fear, lows, uncertainty and regret. Those are probably all some of the feelings you’ve had, before, during or after a rollercoaster ride. Right now my rollercoaster is in one of those low spots.
It’s been so frustrating to watch my mom fight pancreatic cancer for the last year and a half. We have experienced so many feelings of hope and sadness, and often those feelings are felt at the same time. This past week, the scan found something that could be nothing, but could also be the cancer spreading. It just feels like we continue to get blow after blow of bad news these last few months.
Typically, I go through my days and I am so busy that it’s unlikely I spend lots of time feeling sad about this situation. But when news like this comes, I shut down, I am reminded of the pain, I feel helpless. After being on this rollercoaster for so long, it becomes increasingly more difficult to hold onto hope that this ride will end and my mom will get through this.
I am typically a positive person and in my presentations, people will often tell me how positive I am and how uplifting it is for them. But believe it or not, I do spend a good amount of time feeling not positive and feeling hopeless about the future.
But I know that without hope, we stay stagnant in the past and constantly worry about the future. It’s only within hope that we can stay grounded in trust of what is meant for us. So I am writing, because I know many of you have felt hopeless before in your life, but you were able to find that little glimmer of light or of hope, to keep you moving forward.
Hope during this point of my rollercoaster can often feel like a land far away, but I know that hope is within me, I just have to dig a little bit deeper for it. So as a reminder to myself, and a reminder to you, sometimes hope feels unattainable, but keep holding on to hope anyway.
I don’t know the reason why you are experiencing the pain you are experiencing and but I do know that we can get through these challenging times. I do know that you have the hope, strength and love to continue to rise up.
Even when it gets hard, even when you don’t want to because you are exhausted, keep going. Keep holding onto hope. Keep trusting the plan already written for you.
The hope within me may be small at this point, but I’m holding on with everything I’ve got.
You can too.
Xo,
Be Beautifully Simply You