Carrie from carrie.happyhealthyblog shares her story.
I was born very sensitive and empathetic, full of emotions. So at 5, I began to develop feelings of low self-worth and self-esteem as my parents began their long and brutal divorce. The divorce between my parents led me to grow up living two different lives as I visited each household which ran polar opposite structures from one another. That led me to feel confused as a child, which then led me to feeling confused about who I was. I took on the role of the protector for my siblings and felt responsible for more than myself at the age of 14. I was in survival mode as I was overcoming all the forms of abuse, unknowingly battling panic attacks and beginning to deal with Major Depressive Disorder.
I survived high school by numbing the pain or through self-harm episodes. But, as I entered College and had been going through extensive therapy, I realized I needed help to cope with all the feelings I had buried so on the verge of a nervous breakdown, I entered an inpatient program.
That program saved my life by teaching me the importance of self-love and living unapologetic for who I am. I continue to battle my Mental Health, especially since being properly diagnosed with Bipolar 2 earlier this year which shows me Mental Illness isn’t a one-stop shop; it’s a journey.
Today, I embrace the journey and turn as many of the trials into learning adventures. I pay close attention to my mental state and do things like watch who I surround myself with, refuse to buy into the stigma, found hobbies and things I love to do again as an act of self-love and I live unapologetically me and encourage others to do the same.
I’ve learned from my story that it’s possible to come out of the darkest places and through time and hard work, experience a life that we are each deserving of living. A life full of love and laughter. I suffer from Bipolar 2, Anxiety and PTSD; but they’re only a part of my story. There is so much more to me than what I am diagnosed with and I’m confident we all have more beauty to our story too.